In her memoir, Belonging: A Journey of Love, Sonia Gandhi recalls how the family tensions and their political fallout eventually became a public spectacle that, she writes, would today be described as a "reality show."Sonia Gandhi details strained ties with Maneka Gandhi in her memoirNew Delhi,Nov 10, 2026 13:17 ISTSonia Gandhi has written about the strained relationship between the Gandhi family and Maneka Gandhi, from Maneka's marriage to Sanjay Gandhi to her departure from the household after his death, news agency Press Trust of India reported.In her memoir, Belonging: A Journey of Love, Sonia recalls how the family tensions and their political fallout eventually became a public spectacle that, she writes, would today be described as a “reality show."Towards the end of 1973, Sanjay was introduced to Maneka, whom Sonia describes as “a pretty and vivacious girl, ten years younger than him and still a minor”. They married within a year, and Maneka, then 18, became part of the Gandhi family.“Maneka was full of zest.

It was refreshing at first to have a younger sister-in-law in the house. But slowly, the atmosphere began to change, with irritations cropping up in the home,” Sonia writes.

The 526-page memoir, published by HarperCollins India, covers Sonia's childhood in post-war Italy, her marriage into the Nehru-Gandhi family, the assassination of her husband Rajiv Gandhi and her entry into politics.Sonia, who was addressed by the household staff as “Bahurani”, says she regarded Maneka and herself as “equal daughters of the house,” with enough space for both. “But she probably saw it as a putdown. When she spoke rudely, by and large I'd remain silent to keep the peace, but when I felt it had gone too far, I wouldn't hold back and would respond curtly,” Sonia writes.According to the memoir, differences between Sanjay and Maneka soon became apparent to other family members as “the exchange of words between them became noisier and more heated.”“When annoyed, she would use expletives, even in the presence of my mother-in-law, that were taboo in the home; they embarrassed him and shocked us.

Living in our joint family couldn't have been easy for a young girl with a sociable and gregarious temperament,” Sonia writes.Maneka appeared to “settle down” after she began accompanying Sanjay to political functions and programmes. Sonia, however, writes that Maneka's influence on Sanjay began affecting his relationship with Rajiv.

The brothers, who had been inseparable until a few months earlier, grew bitter towards each other.As Sanjay's name became closely associated with the Emergency, he began expressing views in interviews about the “slow workings of the bureaucracy.” Some of his remarks could have been “construed as being critical of the prime minister," the memoir says.Sanjay's political ambitions were supported by some factions in the party, but some of these developments did not sit well with his mother, Indira Gandhi. Sonia writes that Indira felt Maneka was “egging him on in his activities, rather than being a sobering influence on Sanjay”.She quotes Indira as telling Cabinet Secretary PN Dhar about Maneka: “Uske abhi se par nikalne lage hain.” This translates to: “She has started growing wings already.”According to the book, Maneka's “animosity” towards the family grew after Rajiv said Sanjay had contributed to the “calamitous outcome” of the 1978 elections.“He felt that Sanjay had contributed in great measure to the calamitous outcome: his stubbornness, his impetuosity, his rush to implement programmes that weren't well-thought-out, his unwillingness to heed well-meant admonitions, his acting in many instances without his mother's knowledge,” the book says.During a family discussion, Sonia recalls Rajiv telling his brother: “I cannot forgive you, Sanjay, you have brought Ma to this pass.”Indira, who was upset and agitated, agreed with Rajiv and said: “What Rajiv said is true, Sanjay!

How many times did you give orders without my knowledge.”“Maneka intervened, and my mother-in-law, raising her voice, challenged her to deny it. She quickly retreated, but her animosity towards us only increased,” Sonia writes.Sonia says Maneka's sarcastic comments became a “constant irritant”. “As far as she was concerned, we were enemies.

She spread stories about us through journalists with whom she was in touch. The one that galled us most was the outright lie that Rajiv and I had intended to flee the country when the elections were lost,” she writes.The relationship deteriorated further after Sanjay died in an aircraft crash on June 23, 1980.

According to Sonia, Maneka's mother was believed to be encouraging Sanjay's loyalists in the party to seek a political position for his widow.“But Mrs Gandhi felt that at 23, Maneka was still too young and immature to be given a leadership role. Besides, she had a three-month-old baby and would need to be with the little one; she should be patient; there would be enough time later to fulfil her political ambitions.

But it became clear that she had her sights set elsewhere,” Sonia writes.Less than a year after Sanjay's death, the prospect of Maneka leaving the family became apparent when Indira suggested a small gathering to mark the first birthday of Maneka and Sanjay's son, Feroze Varun Gandhi.“She learnt later that a birthday party for her grandchild had indeed taken place but in the house of Vasundhara Raje, the daughter of the dowager Rajmata of Gwalior, a staunch supporter of the RSS and a political opponent of Mrs Gandhi. It was clearly intended to wound her,” Sonia writes.Raje later facilitated the sale of Maneka's Surya magazine to an RSS member.

Sonia describes the development as “tantamount to insulting not only her but the memory of her son, of her father, of all those who had fought against the RSS's communal ideology since the days of the struggle for Indian independence."“With this act Maneka had crossed all limits. To my mother-in-law, it was a deliberate challenge,” she writes.While Indira was on an official visit to London, she learnt that Maneka was moving her belongings out of the house.

After returning, Indira reprimanded her over what she viewed as disloyal political activities and told her that “she must make a choice: either to refrain, or to live elsewhere."“Maneka returned a missive full of accusations, obviously meant to damage her mother-in-law. It became clear that she was intent on creating a furore by which she would leave the house, placing the blame publicly on Mrs Gandhi.

She had confided her plan weeks in advance to a journalist friend,” Sonia writes.According to Sonia, Maneka's account blamed her departure not only on Indira but also on Rajiv and Sonia. “The manner in which the whole incident was manipulated, the propaganda circus that followed, turned that sordid event into what would be termed today a ‘reality show’,” she writes.In the following years, the Gandhi family pursued a legal case seeking visiting rights to Feroze Varun, which Maneka eventually denied, according to the account reported by PTI.“While the proceedings were dragging on, Feroze's fourth birthday came around. By then my mother-in-law was caught up in the gathering storm in Punjab and asked me to drop some gifts at his nursery school,” Sonia writes.“The next day there were articles in the newspapers with accusations from Maneka that I'd been sent to kidnap the child.

My mother-in-law's last reply to Maneka's lawyer was dated April 19, 1984, less than two months before the fateful army action that came to be known as Operation Blue Star,” she adds.Maneka later contested the 1984 Lok Sabha elections as an independent candidate and was defeated by Rajiv. She joined VP Singh's Janata Dal in 1988 and formally joined the BJP in 2004.- Ends